I lost a friend

I lost my best friend this week, no he didn't move or get mad at me..he died.  I cried, I remembered the good times and the bad, but most of all I just missed him and wanted things to be back to the way they were.  Of course we know that cannot happen but we always long for one more visit, one more
conversation or smile or wave.

So immortality rears it's ugly head again and reminds me that time moves on and people close to you
leave your life.  Once again I make the commitment to stay in touch to make more time for the people in my life, and then reality sets in and things get busy, and I say to myself .. tomorrow I will make time tomorrow.

What if tomorrow never comes?  That's a song yes I know that but it is fitting to keep me mindful
of the people in my life.  Yes the hurt will go away, time is supposed to heal all wounds, well that's
baloney.  I will remember my friend often, think of him and smile or maybe cry a little.  One things
for sure I will never ever regret that he was in my life.

Because of him I have memories that I will never forget, I have new friends that he introduced me to.
I have been to places I would have never been too because of him.

Thank you my friend, I will miss you.

Hidden Figures

Andrea and I decided to start going to a movie once a month, we started today with Hidden Figures.  This is a movie based on the real lives of three strong,smart and fiercely determined black women in the 60's space race.  

It is inspiring to see the accomplishments they attained but humiliating to see how they are treated.

How sad to see the racial discrimination  and the compounded gender bias.  Sad to think this was the  accepted norm  not that long ago.  

Yet it seems the more things change, the more things stay the same. Only the things we discriminate against change, will we ever run out of things to hate?   I  wonder.   

There are places I remember

I am a huge amateur music fan,I make no secret about it. My wife and I had the pleasure of seeing James Taylor in concert!  Ty to our daughter who surprised us with tickets!  When you see someone like him,you are hoping for the same experience as he provided us for years.  We were not disappointed.  His range and perfect pitch is still there, as an acquaintance of mine said "that was the fastest 3 hours of my life!".   He had a great band and backup singers with him, each an accomplished   musician or singer that are recording artists on their own.  It was an awesome evening.

It reminded me of how quickly time passes and how precious so many things in our lives are.  Spending time with your kids as  they grow up,then the grandkids and as our parents age spending time with them and providing any help and support we can.   Too soon all that is left are the memories.  So my advice?  Live in the moment.  Take advantage of any opportunities that are provided for you. Travel if you can, See your kids,grandkids and your parents if they are still here.  Make the most of the moments and opportunities you get.  They may be small and ordinary to you now but long after, you will relish the memories.

Well that brings up another idea but I don't want to ramble too much,I tend to get ahead of myself with ideas.  Too many to write at once.
Until next time, make memories!

Age is just a number, but it makes me wonder

I turned 60 last June, an accomplished move to a new decade of my life. No big deal I told myself,but I  have changed hopefully for the better.  Does anyone else in their 60's have a feeling of finite goals or purpose? Meaning that things that I used to put off thinking there will always be time to do, I now plan or do when I can.

I pay more attention to my grandkids when they talk to me and to my kids something I wish I would have done when they were little.   I realize I don't have forever and that I need to cherish the moments and make memories while I can.  Why don't we do that when we are younger, are we so caught up in daily life we forget to appreciate it?   

I  make a point to tell my wife I love her every morning when I leave for work, not because it's something I feel I need to do, I do it because I want her to know how important she is to me and how much I appreciate her in my life. I try to do my fair share around the house to take some of the daily burden away.  Earth shaking stuff?  No it's something I  should have done all my life, make a difference make memories. Appreciate others accomplishments and acknowledge them.  

I never told my parents how much I appreciated all they did for me and provided for me, I took it for granted that it's what parents do. They are both gone now, I cannot tell them. Instead I try to acknowledge my kids and grandchildren let them know they are important and make a difference in my life.  

My hope is they will have memories of me as a good person that took time for them and listened to them. I hope I make them feel appreciated and loved.  

Time does pass quicker the older you get I am past the 50 yard line and the end zone is closer, I need to make memories and appreciate life more. Happily I don't sweat the petty stuff as much anymore.   With age comes wisdom and the knowledge that life goes on and things will get better.  I  watch the sunrise and set with a bigger appreciation for the beauty around me. Little things mean more to me and I try to do something for someone every day. Hold the door for people at the post office or let people turn first at an intersection. Maybe they don't notice but it brightens my day.  

Just some thoughts I wanted to share, as the psychiatrist on MASH said ,pull your pants down and slide on the ice.  Life is what you make it. So make it good!  

Til next time....

CYA! 

Here we go again.

I had just about given up blogging, not that I claim to be good at it I merely like writing what I feel.  A good friend of mine asked when my next one was coming and said he missed reading my stuff, what a nice compliment!   So with renewed vigor I am back with another "Russ's Ramblins".

Relationships, what a beautiful yet complex word! I am not going to break down the variety of them, I would rather try to give you my point of view on them.  First of all  giving is FAR more important than receiving in any relationship whether it be marriage, friendship or family.  I learned this lesson the hard way because I failed miserably on my part of the bargain, giving. 

How easy it is to take things for granted,  to assume there is nothing further you can add to a relationship.  If things are going fine everything is fine right?  Absolutely not!  Never take your relationship for granted, it's the most precious gift you have, cherish it, nurture it and never ever stop
giving your heart and soul to it.  Once it is damaged you might not ever be able to repair it, once it is lost like dust in the wind it will vanish forever. 

Take a look in the mirror, think about all the relationships in your life.  Are you doing your part to keep it alive and flourishing?  Simple things are sometimes all that are needed, a look, a smile, maybe a word of encouragement or a simple touch or hug. 

Of course the more important the relationship, the more work and giving is needed.  Communication is key to know what is needed or not being provided to someone in your relationship.  Remember the old word assume.... and remember what it stands for! 

Sadly,  throughout my lifetime I have lost some relationships that I was sure would last a lifetime.  Oh sure some were high school crushes, others were friendships that I just didn't keep up with.  Looking back (good old hindsight) it's easy to see that had I given more, reached out more, asked more questions, been more forgiving or supportive, some of these relationships could have survived.

So what's my point to this rambling?  I guess to make you aware and me aware of how precious and valuable people in your life are.  It's easy to watch someone else's relationship and offer advice to fix their's , as your own are suffering and need your attention.   There is something I learned from the fire service that I was grateful and proud to have served in for many years,  I will try to make the analogy fit here.  We were taught that life safety is the # 1 priority.  Your life and your fellow firefighters lives were top priority, meaning if your hurt or killed you cannot provide life safety for anyone else involved and you are merely adding to the problem instead of solving it.  In a relationship life safety is making sure your providing and giving your 100% to keep it healthy and alive and growing.  If you don't then your adding to the problems in your relationship.

I live, I learn... and I hope you do as well. 

Until next time, I'll be rambling along for now!

It's a wonderful life

I just caught the last hour of the classic movie, It's a Wonderful Life.  Funny how many times I've watched that movie and never thought of it as anything more than just another classic movie with a
feel warm plot to it.   Tonight for some reason it was different, I kept "seeing myself" in some of the
scenes a deja vu feeling would come over me.  I kept thinking do I make a difference in people's lives, if so is it a good difference or a bad difference? Funny how as I get more "mature" ( I refuse to get older) I start wondering about things like this. 

I was raised in a Christian family and environment in a small rural farming community of SE South
Dakota.  You were taught early and often many things, a man's word is his bond, respect your elders,
help someone in time of need because it's the right thing to do. 

Did I use these things I learned as I grew up?  Did I pass these things on to my children?  One can wonder and fret and worry, but what does that gain you in the end?  Stress, high blood  pressure and
insomnia.  I have enough of those already.   I think I just need to look into the eyes of the people I love, my close friends, people I encounter every day and if I see a small piece of me or a positive influence hopefully caused by me in those eyes, my day is complete.  Live-Love-Laugh  I think that's a new motto for me.  Keep your life real and keep your life simple and everything else will fall into place. 

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

My kids

I have four kids, well they aren't kids they are grown adults with lives and jobs and families. Now  to clarify, two are mine by parenthood and two are by marriage but I refuse to use the term step child, 
they are in my life they are my kids I love them all equally.  When your children are growing up,
you hope that you can impart some values and morals and ethics that they will live by or emulate.

Isn't it a joy when you see them grow and display just how much they are what you hoped for and more? Well all four of mine are!
From these four kids, we have been blessed with five yes five wonderful grandchildren!
 Now two of our daughters are single parents and I marvel at their love, devotion, sacrifice and determination to provide a safe, healthy happy home for their kids. Could I do what these two are doing?  I don't know, I just know these two are doing a wonderful job!
Our other daughter lives too far away.. LOL  is married to a wonderful man and has the cutest one
year old boy, she is constantly sharing videos, skyping us and including us in their family life, what
a joy she is!
Our son is engaged!! YAY  (more grandkids to follow!)  He's local, has a wonderful fiancé and reminds me of MY father more every time I see him or talk to him. His work ethic, strength and character make me so proud.  Why am I telling you this?   
Am I a happy, blessed father?  You bet your ass I am!